I love a good secret – the great surprise kind that I can barely contain. Soon the excitement is too much to bear and a few close friends are joyfully told. But then there is the other kind - the dark kind. The kind that digs deep into a child’s soul and poisons it. The kind that is ashamed to be told or even thought about. The "Don’t tell your mother” kind. The kind that Satan uses to taunt and produce insecurities.
These poisonous kinds of secrets have a way of festering until one day, when it’s least convenient, an emotional explosion occurs. There is no perfect time to talk about incest. It’s a horribly painful topic. But the ugly facts are that it’s happening in homes all over America. Chances are it is happening in your neighborhood right now. And, tragically, it happened to me.
It was seemingly easy to dismiss. He was a member outside my immediate family. He asked forgiveness and I gave it. Then we agreed we would never talk about it. He was truly repentant and he never reoffended. (For more on the misconceptions of incest click HERE.)
After years of counseling women like me, I’ve learned that this is extremely rare. Typically the cycle of repentance and reoffense continues for many years. Though it was terrible, it could have been so much worse.
It was over by the time I entered high school, but the deep wounds it caused went underground, poisoning my psyche and warping my thought processes. Flailing, and unsure who to trust, I embraced a victim mentality.
This is part one in the series. Stay tuned for part two.