Forgiveness is the key to healing; it will unlock the shackles of your past and set you free. If you want to truly be free, you must walk down the path of forgiveness. Forgive God, yourself, your perpetrator and those who failed to protect you. It is not something you are doing for THEM; you are doing it for YOU. Unforgiveness keeps you in perpetual bondage. You are tied to your perpetrator as long as you carry that anger, hatred, hurt and bitterness. The truth is – you will never be healed or delivered until you are ready to forgive.The hot temper of a fool eventually kills him; the jealous anger of a simpleton does her in. Job 5:2 (MSG)
Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." Romans 12:19 (MSG)
Not feeling it? That’s OK. Forgive by faith. Say it aloud. “By faith I forgive _____________.” Continue to speak it aloud every time the enemy reminds you of the hurt and shame. As you practice confessing forgiveness with your mouth, your feelings will follow.
In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part. Matthew 6:14-15 (MSG)
Forgiveness can be a slow and painful process. Make a list of all those you need to forgive and slowly release them one by one. Even the small offenses such as, “I forgive Mary for making fun of my shoes in third grade.” Make a fresh start. Don’t hold onto any of it.
God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile; put a fresh wind in my sails! Psalm 51:10-12 (MSG)
Isn’t it time for a fresh start?
Prayer:
Father, what ______________ did to me was wrong. However, I don’t want to carry this anger any longer. While I do not feel forgiveness, I choose to be obedient to you. I choose to walk in freedom and not bondage. So, by faith, I forgive _______________. I do not base this on my feelings alone. I trust that as I am healed and restored, I will feel the forgiveness I am confessing with my mouth. I release all bitterness and anger. When the enemy reminds me of old hurts, I will confess aloud my forgiveness by faith. Help me not to wallow in negative thinking or play back records of old pain. I pray for your supernatural forgiveness to manifest itself in my life. In Jesus name, Amen.
Read my other posts on incest:
Incest Part 3 - Let it all Come Out
12 comments:
I love the part about forgiving the little things like people making fun of your shoes in 3rd grade. Unforgiveness is like a cancer that can infiltrate all sorts of memories. Prayer is the ultimate surgery. Again, Jan, I applaud your courage and your ministry! Go girl!
A lot people will be bless with this series. And I thank God for your courage to even take on a sensitive subject. Blessings to you my dear. Have a bless weekend!!
Jan, thanks for sharing your experience. It takes a lot of courage to do so. :)
I loved your prayer. It is so nice to see someone who has gone through the entire process and has a positive outcome.
Wow! Thanks for the wonderful, authentic blog. I keep thinking of Joseph in the Old Testament - what his brothers meant for evil, God had turned to good.
I stumbled on the internet similar stories of hurting people. Opening your heart to the hurting let's them know they are not alone. Also, you point to the only One who can heal us. God Bless, Susan
I've been following along with your posts on incest, Jan. I'm so sorry you've had to suffer this way. Bless you in your ministry to others who have also suffered. Forgiveness is SO important for all of us to practice, no matter what the offense. Thanks for your bold honesty. (((Hugs)))
As one who was molested for many years in my childhood I can tell you that forgiveness is not easy and can only genuinely be done through Christ and it's a choice we make and it's freeing! I had to forgive without apology or acknowledgement from the man who was the molester or his wife that I know knew and has always denied.
When we release our pain TO GOD and make the choice to forgive those individuals we keep or regain our sanity and our peace of mind!
Many think forgiveness means we are letting those people off the hook who hurt us but for me forgiving meant that I was free to live and be who God ordained me to be. They both are still in their unconfessed state living lies but I moved forward and that's part of what forgiveness is about. It's liberating!!!
Bless you Jan as you continue to speak painful truths that will lead others to CHRIST and to healing and wholeness.
Love you.
Thank you Jan for opening up this topic and exposing things that people don't want to talk about. I am blessed because nothing ever happened in this way to me. I am very thankful. I do know women who are struggling with pain and shame from being violated. One dear friend doesn't know that I know that this happened to her at age 3. My close friend told me, as it is her sister-in-law. I'm praying for the one who was harmed at age 3. Somehow I want to let her know about your blog. Maybe I could tell my close friend to mention it to her. Bless you Jan
Hey Jan - I finally posted your links as we had discussed. It's within my Pause and Pray post today.
Love you and keep standing!!!
My sister in Christ, may God bless you coming in and going out. May everything you touch be blessed...In Jesus Name, Amen!
Thank you for opening the door for so many to be made free. It took me years to forgive my father and then forgive myself. Even after death he had a stronghold on my life and emotions. It wasn't until I joined the police department and began dealing with so many individuals hurting from rape, sexual abuse and incest, that I began to understand the importance of forgiveness.
By God's grace and mercy, I am more than a Conqueror!
Blessings My Sister,
Stacye
I'm glad Stacye stopped by Jan and more are coming your way. I love you! Keep allowing yourself to be used by GOD to bring His healing to so many through Christ. Amen!
I greatly respect and love you.
Hi Jan~ Thank you for sharing your story. I came here through Lisa Shaw's blog, and read all 6 posts. I praise the Lord that He heals and restores and uses ALL things in our lives. He will continue to use your story and your path to healing to make a difference in many lives. May the Lord bless you and continue to shine through you!
Jennifer
PS: I love the story on your side bar about Johnny.
Can't believe I finally finished your series. Took me a long enough time, don't you think? I relate to so much of what you are saying. Not with incest but sexual abuse as a child. I understand the behavior issues, the shame, the times with no memory, the healing and forgiveness through Christ. So thankful to know you are using your past pain to help others. I'm with you again on this one. I should write more about this topic on my blog too as the Lord leads.
Can't wait to meet you today.
Hugs,
Tiffany
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