Bold & Free

We've Moved

2011-08-26T00:41:00.003-06:00

Change is inevitable, consistent and part of life. Some changes may be minor, like switching brands of toothpaste, but when a few dozen changes happen all at once, life becomes stressful. If I had my choice, I’d take my changes in little bite-size pieces. Instead, I’ve been given a succulent, gourmet meal with only five minutes to savor it.

One of the changes I’ve made is switching my blog over to Wordpress. You can now find Bold & Free here: http://boldnfree.wordpress.com the blog will continue much like it is, but without the videos. All my videos will now be at Jan In Real Life and I’ll be video blogging more frequently than I write on Bold & Free. I’ve also added a recipe blog of easy, delicious recipes. I do not believe in mixes - just Fabulous Fresh Food. Please include my new blogs in your blog roll. I want to include you all as well – just a soon as I learn how to do that. Please be patient with me as I learn all the ins and outs of Wordpress.

Jan In Real Life - http://www.janinreallife.wordpress.com

Since I love networking and encouraging people, SendOutCards was a perfect business to get into. I joined the company in June and It’s been a tremendous source of inspiration and blessing beyond the income. I've been inspired to write heart-felt cards to those who've made a difference in my life, which has ushered in a spirit of gratitude and contentment. I love what SendOutCards has added to my life! When you visit my website, please watch the brief 3 min video, which explains how SendOutCards can save you time and money! And as a thank you for stopping by, send a free card on me!

Another big change is that I’ve started watching my 2.5 year-old grandbaby, Kamy, three days a week. She’s a bundle of pure energy. Today we read about twenty books, played at the water park, went for a walk with Gigi and Papa, played catch and hide-and-go-seek, practiced numbers and shapes, watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, chatted with the garbage man, watched the bunnies from the deck, went to Starbucks, and made believe we were animals. I’m simply fascinated in the weekly and daily changes in her. Being a grandma is so much fun!

I love the way Kamy turns a phrase. Her latest is, “I can’t like that,” if there is something she doesn’t like.

Fabulous Fresh Food - http://www.janparrish.wordpress.com

I recently discovered I am allergic to milk. Another big change. My health is improving slowly and consistently. September 5^th is one year since my life saving surgery. I’m thankful that I’m still here and that I’m not needing long-term medical assistance.

In the face of so many changes, I usually tend to retreat and reflect. Please be patient with me as I adjust to my new normal. While all these changes were taking place, I had my four-year blogiversary. Thanks for your faithful participation. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and reading about your lives as well. So what about you? What changes are you dealing with?

Reflections on Motherhood from an Empty Nester

2011-05-08T23:28:00.003-06:00

Hanging with Mommy (c) morguefiles.com

Motherhood is the lowest paid, most rewarding, hardest job you’ll ever love. Once you enter into it, you have the job for life, even if you outlive your children. Because motherhood not only changes your DNA, it changes your heart forever. You’ll no longer view a crying baby or Hallmark commercial in the same light.

Letting Go: One of the most difficult tasks of motherhood is learning to let go. From the time the umbilical cord is cut, if you’re doing your job right, your child immediately begins his journey towards independence. You have to give him the freedom to fail, try new things and experience the world on his own terms. Especially when your child is an adult, you must allow him to choose his own path, even if you had other plans for him.

Learn You Aren’t Perfect: When you were a little girl dreaming about mommy hood, you planned to be the perfect Mommy. But, June Cleaver is a fictional character. No mom is perfect and neither are her children. Relax. Understand you’ll make mistakes – some you’ll laugh over and some you’ll cry over. All you can do is your best and pray that God will cover your mistakes with His grace.

Give Him Time: He may think he wants all the newest toys and designer labels, but in the end, all he wants is your love and attention. Do you want your child to thrive? Give him plenty of time and undivided attention. Because once you blink, he’s all grown up and there is no ‘do-over.’

Pray, pray, pray: Because you aren’t perfect, because he’s not perfect - because you’ll make some bad decisions and so will he - prayer is critical. When you feel guilty, inadequate, insecure, unsure, overwhelmed, unqualified, and in over your head, prayer will help. Pray for your child even when things are going well. Pray for his protection, for his spiritual life, and his future mate. Pray that you will be the parent he needs as he is growing and when he is grown. Pray that God will give you strength to be the very best parent you can be.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Gal 6:9 (NIV)

Happy Mother’s Day!

Justice has been served - Osama Bin Laden dead

2011-05-02T12:53:00.002-06:00

President Barak Obama confirms that Anti-American terrorist, Usama Bin Laden, is dead. Geraldo Rivera delivered breaking around 9:24pm (MST) Sunday night. Geraldo gleefully clapped as he jubilantly delivered this news.

Although I understand Geraldo’s feelings, I cannot rejoice in anyone's demise, no matter how evil the man. Justice has been served in the death of Bin Laden; I am relieved, but I will not rejoice. This military operation demonstrates that America is a force to be reckoned with.

In his address to the nation, President Obama recognized the victims of 9-11, the unity of our country and the power of our military. America has never forgotten 9-11 and we never will. Bin Laden’s death will not ease our pain nor bring back the thousands of murdered fathers, brothers, sisters, sons and husbands.

Sympathetic terrorist cells worldwide will likely metastasize as they burn with revenge at the loss of their leader. America is on high alert.

Join me in prayer for our military overseas. Each and every member of our military is a hero. God bless our military for the sacrifices they make daily to ensure our safety and freedom. God bless the families who lost loved ones on 9-11, may they find comfort in the justice that was served last night.

Join me in praying for our country, our great state of Colorado, the city of Denver, and our military on the National Day of Prayer.

Bible Memory Challenge - Psalms 34:19

2011-04-12T14:04:00.003-06:00

The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

Psalm 34:19 (NLT)

Bible Memory Challenge - John 14:27

2011-03-21T13:12:00.000-06:00

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world give. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. - John 14:27

Isaiah 41:13 - Bible Memory Challenge

2011-03-14T11:46:00.001-06:00

Uneasiness

2011-03-11T00:19:00.001-07:00

One of "those days."

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. - 2 Cor 10:5

Today was a weird day. I was busy but didn’t get anything I planned done. I washed clothes, prepared the meals, went to the dentist, planned a party, walked around the neighborhood, chatted on Facebook and cleaned the bathroom. But I felt uneasy and uncomfortable most of the day.

It started with unsettling dreams, which stayed with me even after I woke up. Feelings of apprehension ran unhindered in the back of my mind like a bad programming. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until early this evening that I was able to identify and confront them.

I’ve found that strange feelings, like peculiar dreams, can be a sneaky attack of the enemy to distract and discourage. It worked on me for most of the day. One of the things I’m learning to do is to reign in my thoughts and emotions. This is not an easy task, especially when the attack is subtle. Once I took my thoughts captive and made them obedient to Christ, I felt God’s peace once again.

Jesus, help me to identify the subtle attacks of the enemy and focus my mind on things that are good, pure and true. Thank you for the victory and peace that is mine when I take my thoughts captive. Amen

Bible Memorization Challenge

2011-03-07T15:24:00.000-07:00

Feel free to print and post everywhere to help you memorize it.

Letter to God

2011-01-11T15:28:00.001-07:00

Dear God,

You do so much for me every day and I am full of gratitude. I have so many thankful thoughts sifting through my mind that I decided to write you a letter of praise.

Thank you for the gift of life, for telling me to go to the ER, and for giving me the strength to recover. Thank you for giving me the faith and fortitude to face two more surgeries. Thank you for the joy I have in you, despite my circumstances.

Thank you for the dear friends and family who’ve brought meals, gifts, cleaned, and visited. Thank you for all those who prayed, sent cards, donated money and placed me on prayer chains. I am grateful and humbled by their generosity.

Thank you for the teenager who sent $20 of her babysitting money to my fundraiser saying, “They need it more than I do.” Bless the struggling families who gave in spite of their lack. I am rendered speechless in the face of such generosity.

I’m so grateful for the letters you sent with money and gift cards. I felt your love in each envelope. Remember the day I prayed you’d send me some money and hours later one of your cards arrived? Thank you for the generous souls who hear your voice and obey. Give them favor and blessings in miraculous ways.

Thank you for the wonderful friends who helped us move, some we didn’t even know. Please bless them with good health and friends who stick by in times of crisis. Thank you for friends and family who sent notes of support, and for those who called right when I needed to hear an encouraging voice.

Thank you for my mom, sister and husband who all took turns spending the night with me in the hospital, sacrificing their sleep so I could rest easier. Thank you for my precious family, who prayed with me before surgery, showered me with love during my recovery and for the strong bond we share. Thank you for an amazing husband who stood by my side without complaining and encouraged me when I needed it most. Thank you for our incredible children, and their wonderful spouses, who make me proud to be their mom. Thank you for our beautiful grandbaby, who showers us with joy and helps us to look at life in new, exciting ways.

Thank you for sending such a skilled surgeon to operate on me, for his compassion and his expertise. Thank you for the infectious disease doctor who kept me from having allergic reactions to meds and reacted quickly when needed. Thank you for the amazing nurses who went beyond their call of duty to make me comfortable; and for the fabulous nurses in the infusion center who made an unpleasant experience bearable.

Thank you for loving me in spite of my impatience, as my health improves and I try to do more than I should; for lifting my head and my spirits and reminding me of all you’ve done. Thank you for your blessing and protection during my health crisis, and for a life that has meaning, simply because you’re a part of it.

Your grateful daughter,

Jan

Life Saving Surgery part 2

2010-12-23T22:50:00.003-07:00

Still fighting for life

During this life-threatening situation, I received true clarity of thought. In that moment, my priorities fell into place and I focused on what really mattered. My worries about our bills, my job or the house became less significant. My only concern was for my family.

I must have dozed off because the next time I opened my eyes, most of my family was in the room. Supported by their love, I was incredibly comforted. I grabbed hold of these feelings and carried them with me into surgery.

I knew in my heart, I was going to be fine and I wanted to reassure them. I didn’t believe God would send me to the hospital to die. After all, I could have died at home for free. But the pain and drugs kept me from voicing my thoughts.

My pain had greatly diminished the next time I awoke. I was so relieved; I gave little thought to all the tubes and devices that were keeping me comfortable. I felt great peace from the prayers of believers all over the world.

My surgeon removed over a foot of dead intestine and thoroughly rinsed the peritoneal cavity. He also documented the diseased bowel so we could see just how bad it was. I couldn’t believe what was inside me. It looked like burnt brats (Incidentally, brats are a food I no longer eat.). No wonder I was in so much pain.

Thirty years ago, when I had my appendectomy, the surgeon remarked that I had three extra feet of colon. God knew that I would need it now. Because of His infinite wisdom, I didn’t need a colostomy bag.

Though the surgery was over, my life still hung in the balance as I battled a serious blood infection.

Stay tuned for part three!

Read part one HERE.

Life Saving Surgery part 1

2010-12-15T09:53:00.004-07:00

My IV pole. It was so heavy, I had to have help pushing it.

September 4, 2010, is a date we’ll always remember as the day our lives were turned completely upside down in just a matter of minutes. Our evening began with a delicious dinner at our good friends, Mark and Denise’s. None of us had a clue what was about to transpire. After dinner, I had an uncomfortable feeling in my tummy. I was fine until then, so I dismissed it and took some Advil. But within minutes, I knew we had to leave. We were all shocked at how suddenly it hit.

During the five-minute ride home, I began to get sick to my stomach. I couldn’t keep anything down. In the hours I lay wreathed in pain, I began to rule things out in my mind. Gallbladder – gone. Appendix – gone. Swine Flu – had it last summer. Salmonella? I should have stopped eating eggs.

Around one in the morning, I said to myself, “This is what it must feel like to die.” It was more pain than I’d ever experienced, in spite of several pregnancies and numerous surgeries. At that moment, I distinctly heard God speak into my spirit, “You WILL die if you don’t go to the ER.” If we had medical coverage, I would have already been to the ER. I was reluctant to go since we were temporarily without insurance.

Concerned about the cost, I asked God what hospital to go to. He told me Skyridge. I considered calling the ambulance, but I knew Greg would get me there faster. I didn’t even change out of my nightgown. When God said go, I grabbed my robe and purse. Greg piggybacked me down the stairs because I was too weak to walk.

We made it there in record time. Greg parked in front of the emergency entrance until I was settled in a room. I remember sitting in the wheelchair doubled over and thinking I was rude for not looking at the triage nurses while they asked me questions.

“What is your level of pain on a scale of 1-10?”

“Twelve.” I answered, wondering how I was even able to be coherent.

The Dilaudid just barely took the edge off. After many hours in the ER, an x-ray showed nothing, but a CAT scan revealed an intestinal blockage. Scar tissue was wrapped around my upper intestine, strangling it. Who knew?

It’s interesting the words that bring you comfort at a time like this. I remember them clearly, “In two hours we are going to perform live saving surgery…” even the five-inch incision seemed irrelevant. Thank you Jesus! Relief was on the way.

Please click here for part two.

My sister set up an account to help pay my mounting medical expenses:
Jan Parrish Benefit Fund
First Bank
2 Plum Creek Pkywy
Castle Rock, CO 80104
You can mail a tax deductible donation directly to them or go to any First Bank and ask for the Jan Parrish Benefit Fund.

Detour Ahead!

2010-11-10T08:43:00.002-07:00

Every morning for several months, I’ve been walking on a trail by my house. While there are many different trails close by, this is my favorite. I recognize the dog-walkers, bicyclist and runners; we greet or nod to each other as we pass, sometimes more than once. I often wave to the elderly couple sipping coffee on their back deck. Further along the trail, twin labs hang over the fence and bark their greeting as I stride by.

Several weeks ago, when I didn’t see my usual band of exercise enthusiast, I discovered the trail had become a construction zone. Undaunted, I took a minor detour and continued on my usual path. I knew the project would become a nuisance over the next few days, but I was determined to stay on course. Even though I could have chosen a different trail, I continued to walk down my usual path.

Now that construction is complete, the inconvenience is but a memory. I fully relish the smooth trail, skipping over each beautifully formed slab. I enjoy the trail even more than before! But I miss my trail buddies. Where did they go? Did they see the detour as a sign they were on the wrong course?

This scenario caused me reflect on how much this is much like our personal journey. When life throws in a detour, how do you respond? Some detours are minor. Others are life changing, causing us to change course. Which detours delay you and which detours derail you?

*I am beginning a series on detours. I wrote this post before I spent 21 days in the hospital. I believe God was preparing me for my major detour I’m excited about this series. I hope you’ll click back and participate.

Through it All

2010-10-21T13:22:00.000-06:00

This has been my theme song for the last few months. The words are at the bottom. I pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me.

Through It All Lyrics

Verse 1:
I've Had Many Tears And Sorrows,
I've Had Questions For Tomorrow,
There's Been Times I Didn't Know Right From Wrong.
But In Every Situation,
God Gave Me Blessed Consolation,
That My Trials Come To Only Make Me Strong.

Chorus:
Through It All,
Through It All,
I've Learned To Trust In Jesus,
I've Learned To Trust In God.

Through It All,
Through It All,
I've Learned To Depend Upon His Word.

Verse 2:
I've Been To Lots Of Places,
I've Seen A Lot Of Faces,
There's Been Times I Felt So All Alone.
But In My Lonely Hours,
Yes, Those Precious Lonely Hours,
Jesus Lets Me Know That I Was His Own

Chorus

Verse 3:
I Thank God For The Mountains,
And I Thank Him For The Valleys,
I Thank Him For The Storms He Brought Me Through.
For If I'd Never Had A Problem,
I Wouldn't Know God Could Solve Them,
I'd Never Know What Faith In God Could Do

Praying for a Miracle

2010-09-03T09:26:00.001-06:00

Heavenly Father, we boldly come before your throne to ask for a miracle. We ask not because we have earned it, but because we are your children, heirs to your kingdom. While we do not understand the circumstances we find ourselves in, we continually look to you for our sustenance and provision.

Since you own the cattle on a thousand hills, meeting our bills this month is not too great for you. You can pull a home out of foreclosure at the eleventh hour and at the same time supply a car for another family in need. You inspire your people to leave groceries on a struggling family’s porch or anonymously mail them gift cards. We believe that you can provide clients and favor at work in spite of a lagging economy. Nothing is overwhelming or impossible for you. Nothing.

Bring peace and comfort to those who are out of work. Open doors that only you can open, so that your name will be glorified.

Help us to be strong and courageous. Keep us from fear and doubt. Thank you that you go before us to pave the way and thank you that you will never leave us or forsake us. We thank you for the miracles you are about to perform and for the ones you have already performed.

In Your Holy Name,
Amen

“No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Joshua 1:5 (NIV)

Happy 50th Birthday Greg!

2010-08-14T22:51:00.000-06:00

Happy 50th Birthday My Love!

New Beginnings

2010-08-08T23:40:00.001-06:00

www.morguefile.com

The dawn of a new day signifies new beginnings with a hush in the crisp, fresh air and the grass glimmering with liquid diamonds. Choirs of feathered creatures usher in the joy and hope that is morning. Our creator, in His wisdom, gives us this gift once every twenty-four hours. No matter how terrible our day, we have the endearing hope that tomorrow is a new day; tomorrow we receive a fresh new beginning.

For years, I’ve missed these early, golden morning hours, celebrating instead, the solemn quiet stillness of my sleepy town. However, I’ve discovered that savoring this expectant time of the day has become one of my deepest joys.

My new beginning is dawning. As I behold the first colorful beams of light splay across the sky, I wait expectantly, full of awe and wonder. Because I know the sun is just about to rise over the horizon. And the Son brings with Him the fullness of His promises - the wonderful, fresh new beginning for which I’ve been expectantly waiting.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)

Father, thank you for the gift you give us with the dawning of each new day. Thank you for new beginnings and the hope we have in You.

Groanings too Deep for Words

2010-07-24T01:01:00.004-06:00

Double Rainbow (c) Jan Parrish 2010

In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. - Romans 8:26-27 (NASV)

Have you experienced such extreme grief that sorrow seems to permeate your entire being? Words can never express the depth of your heartache and uttering a prayer feels like a herculean effort.

Thankfully, God in his infinite mercy sent the Holy Spirit. He understands your anguish and groans to the Father on your behalf. Whatever your circumstances, the loss of a loved one, financial devastation, a severed relationship or broken dreams; you are never fully alone in your suffering. What a beautiful, soothing promise.

Thank you Father, for sending your Holy Spirit to minister to us when we are heartbroken and feel alone. Thank you that you never leave us or forsake us.

The Star Spangled Banner

2010-07-04T18:51:00.001-06:00

The Star Spangled Banner Lyrics
By Francis Scott Key 1814

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

I'm amazed at the number of people who don't know the words to the Star Spangled Banner. Granted, it's not an easy song to sing, but it's our national anthem. I must confess, I only know the first verse and it's a shame because all the verses are wonderfully meaningful.

A Leader Follows

2010-06-29T04:54:00.002-06:00

Irretrievable Words

2010-06-23T15:31:00.005-06:00

The writing bug bit me when I was a mere seven-years-old. I experienced “the zone” while writing a report on horses. In my mind, it was brilliant. I was the next Louisa May Alcott; writing energized me.

Several years later, while working on a creativity badge for Pioneer Girls, I wrote a poem on friendship. All the girls in my troop were earning the same badge so the leader chose to read them aloud. When she came to mine, she said, “I don’t like that one,” and tossed it aside. I was stunned, hurt and humiliated. Just because I wrote a terrible poem didn’t give her the right to publicly humiliate me. Her words penetrated deeply and anchored into a hidden part my soul. My shame was so great; I prayed the earth would swallow me up.

I was too ashamed to tell my parents, but my sister did. Mom was outraged; she called the leader, demanding justice. I received a personal phone call within the hour. Though I accepted her apology, I discovered that painful words are irretrievable. In her attempt to compensate, she decided to have it read aloud at the annual Pioneer Girls conference.

As I heard my name called, I slunk deep into my chair. In a sea of five hundred sky blue uniforms, I was finally able blend in. Then, horror of horrors, someone spoke each despicable word into the microphone.

Friends

by Janet Hasselblad

Friends are nice for eating rice,

Friends can make a rose as big as a nose,

Friends can be big or as fat as a pig

But friends are friends.

Nearly 39 years later, while some good friends were over, I shared this story though I hadn’t thought of it in years.

“I think it’s great,” she said.

I was shocked, “Really?” My mom, sister and gramma all said they loved it. I thought they were just being nice. But this was a trusted friend. I felt the shame wash off, amazed that it had lingered all these years. God used a relaxing game night to cleanse me of false shame.

Prayer 101

2010-06-18T12:34:00.000-06:00

What is prayer?
Very simply, prayer is a conversation with God. Talk to Him and tell him about your day. Then be still and listen to what He says. Prayer is not a one way conversation. It’s unlikely you will hear an audible voice; rather, he will place a thought in your mind.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

John 10:27 (NIV)

Prayer has no rules. You don’t need to:
• do something in order for God to listen
• pray in a specific location or church
• fold your hands or kneel
• use a prayer book or memorized prayer
• speak with eloquent words
• pray through a saint or priest
• pray the rosary
• light a candle

Why don’t more people pray? Because they:
• don’t believe in God
• think God is busy doing more important things
• don’t want to take time
• don’t know God so it’s awkward
• feel it’s a waste of time
• aren’t getting the results they want
• are angry at God
• are estranged from God because of sin

Where is it appropriate to pray?
• While driving
• In the shower
• At the office
• At the mall
• In church
• In court
• While cooking
• Basically, anywhere and everywhere

It’s appropriate to pray when you:
• need a listening ear
• feel grateful
• want to tell God how much you love him
• need to confess
• are making a big decision
• are worried about something
• need comfort
• are working through a problem
• read the Bible
• are just living life

Healed Mind, Body & Spirit

2010-06-18T00:13:00.008-06:00

I love a good secret – the wondrous kind that bursts to be told. But there is another kind of secret – an evil kind. The kind that digs deep into a child’s soul and poisons it. The kind that is too shaming to tell. The "don’t tell your mother” kind. It’s the kind of secret Satan uses to taunt and produce insecurities.

These evil, poisonous kinds of secrets have a way of festering until one day, when you least expect it, an emotional explosion occurs. There is no good time to talk about incest or sexual abuse. It’s a horribly painful topic. But the ugly facts are that it’s happening in homes all across America. Chances are it’s happening in your neighborhood right now. And, tragically, it happened to me.

Initially, it seemed easy to dismiss. He was a member outside my immediate family. He begged my forgiveness and I gave it. We then agreed never to talk about it. He was genuinely repentant and never reoffended. (After years of counseling abused women, I’ve learned that this is extremely rare. Typically, the cycle of repentance and abuse continues for many years.)

But stuffing my feelings down didn’t make them disappear. Denial is only a temporary emotional Band-Aid. Eventually I had to face the demons of my past.

I wish I could say that once the incest stopped, life returned to normal, but nothing was ever the same. I’d lost my sense of security and battled deep-seeded feelings of shame and self worth. I also began to question my Christianity. After all, a family member betrayed me. What other beliefs was I naively holding on to? Even my personality changed. I became withdrawn, angry and rebellious. I hated high school and failed most of my classes due to truancy. I didn’t take drugs or drink excessively, yet there are entire blocks of time in my freshman year that I simply can’t remember. This is indicative of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

Throughout my teen years and into adulthood, I continually dealt with sexual assault and harassment. I had no idea I was projecting a victim mentality.

In my late thirties, I was plagued with asthma and a variety of associated ailments. I was losing my voice and that terrified me. I went through a plethora of doctors, praying one of them would heal me. It never occurred to me to ask the ultimate physician for healing. Then one Saturday night during worship, I brokenly cried out to God and begged him to heal me.

He spoke to my spirit, “Today you have touched the hem of my gown. I will heal you in mind, body and spirit."

“When, Lord?”

“Within the year.”

My physical healing happened very quickly. My voice came back and I am no longer an asthmatic. Then the Lord led me to Alabaster Vessels. As I healed from the abuse of my past, I began to counsel others. Finally, I searched the scriptures and exercised my gift of prophecy. Just as God promised, He healed me mind, body and spirit.

I’m humbled and honored by the women who contact me to share their painful stories of incest and abuse. It’s my prayer that God will use my story to inspire others to begin the healing process.

Perhaps you have a similar story. Allow Him to heal your mind, body and spirit. Healing from childhood abuse is not an easy journey. But you are older, wiser and stronger, and Jesus will be with you all the way. I started my journey just before I turned forty and I will be forty-six this month. It’s never too late to reclaim your life. Shame and guilt held me in bondage. I wasn’t living my life to the fullest. Now I am free from the chains of my past.

As a rape and incest survivor, I am passionate about empowering women to become all God made them to be. Because it is only through Jesus Christ that we can truly be Bold & Free.

Recommended reading:

Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer

Woman Thou Art Loosed by TD Jakes

A Door of Hope by Jan Frank

Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer

Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge

Follow Me:

Denver Charismatic Christian Examiner

Twitter

Facebook

God is For You! Margot Starbuck

2010-05-30T22:54:00.002-06:00

Affirm Yourself Today!

2010-05-16T01:15:00.002-06:00

This little girl can teach us a lot about affirming ourselves. Are you in the habit of affirming yourself? Try changing up the verbiage a bit.

"Today is going to be a really good day! I am a child of God and I am beautiful! I am an encouragement to those around me. I make people smile. I am a great mom."

Now, write your own. Affirm yourself today.

I snagged this off a friends Facebook page. Stop by her blog HERE.

National Day of Prayer - A Prayer For Our Nation

2010-05-05T22:54:00.002-06:00

Heavenly Father,

As a Nation, we bow before you on humbled knee. Thank you for the opportunity we have to live in a nation where we are free to worship you openly.

Forgive us for ignoring our Christian heritage. Forgive us for killing our unborn children. Have mercy on our country for ignoring your existence in our independent living.

We lift up President Obama to you. Cause him to turn to you as he faces these turbulent times. Surround him with Godly advisors to help along the way.

We pray for the great state of Colorado and her inhabitants. We praise you for her glorious mountain peaks, breathtaking sunsets and balmy weather. We pray in jobs for all those who are looking. May they find good places of employment. Bless the employers of Colorado with extra positions and funding for good benefit packages.

Bless the government of our state – from the governor to the mayors and all who make policy. May they govern with Godly wisdom and discernment.

Protect our military worldwide. Send your angels to shield them from harm as their hearts turn towards you. We pray that you would not only protect their bodies, but their marriages and families as well.

Thank you for our strong police force. We pray for their protection today and throughout the year. May they serve with strength and honor.

Father, bless your houses of worship. May they be filled with all who love and serve you. Turn our hearts back to you, our Creator. Send a revival so true and pure that every church is filled to capacity with both your Spirit and your followers.

In Jesus precious name,

Amen

For more on the National Day of Prayer, click HERE.

Amazing Grace - 7yr old Rhema Marvanne

2010-04-19T18:46:00.003-06:00

7 Ways to Help a Suicidal Friend - Depression part 4

2010-03-31T00:11:00.004-06:00

1. Always take suicidal threats seriously.
2. Allow them to express their feelings without judgment. Let them vent.
3. Emphasize the hope that they may not see due to their depression.
4. Pray with them and for them.
5. Call them to see how they’re doing if you haven’t heard from them in a while.
6. Give them a name of a good counselor and offer to go with them.
7. Don’t be afraid to call 911 or drive them to a hospital. It just may save their life.

Suicide Hotline
Read More about suicide and depression HERE

Warning Signs of Suicide - Depression part 3

2010-03-30T00:39:00.001-06:00

5 Ways to Treat Depression – Depression part 2

2010-03-19T01:53:00.002-06:00

Treatment for depression is as varied as the symptoms. What works for Barb, may not work for Jody. If you are severely depressed or have thoughts of suicide, call the Suicide Hotline and seek medical help immediately. Otherwise select one of the treatment options and slowly add in new treatment so you can decide what works best for your situation. If you start doing too many new things at once, you won’t know what helped when your symptoms improve.

1. Exercise - moderate exercise on a daily basis will lift your spirits and self esteem, resulting in more energy and improved mental health. If you have a physical disability, ask your doctor what type of exercise is right for you. Exercise alone may not be enough to treat your depression. Consider pairing it with one of the other options below.

2. Natural Remedies - St. Johns Wort, Omega 3 fatty-acids, Folic Acid, Sam-e, magnesium, 5-HTP, L-tyrosine and Melatonin can all help with depression. You may also consider including massage therapy acupuncture, infrared light therapy or tapping.

3. Counseling- unresolved issues, such as abuse, can cause depression. Look for a trained counselor who specializes in the issues you need to resolve. Understand that you can’t resolve years of abuse in two or three months. Don’t become impatient with this process. Emotions associated with abuse take time to heal.

4. Meditation – carve out some time when you will not be interrupted to pray, listen to God and reflect on his promises. If you are too distraught to pray, write journal entries to God. He doesn’t care how you communicate, only that you do. Don’t make this a one-way conversation, ask Him questions and wait for His response.

“Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do,” - Joshua 1:8 (NLT)

5. Medication – before starting a medication treatment plan, ask your doctor to do a complete drug work up to rule out other causes. A hormonal imbalance or vitamin deficiency can trigger depression.

Check with your pharmacy or Google the names of the medications you take for possible side effects. One of your prescription drugs could be the cause.

Diagnosing Depression – Depression part 1

Click HERE to view Tapping video.

Suicide Hotline – 1- 800-SUICIDE

Diagnosing Depression - Depression part 1

2010-03-17T20:58:00.001-06:00

Right now in the US, more than 1 out of 20 adults are suffering from depression. These numbers increase in the low income brackets. 1 in 7 poor adults suffer from depression. With numbers like these, it’s likely someone you know may be suffering with undiagnosed depression. It could even be you. The symptoms of depression are as varied as the individual. Below are two fictional examples of women suffering from depression.

Lately, Barb feels like she’s just not herself. Everything she does requires herculean effort. Even basic tasks, like getting dressed and fixing her hair, take twice as long. When a simple task is complete, she feels drained of all her energy. Barb’s best friend told her to snap out of it and take charge of her life. But Barb is overwhelmed; she doesn’t know how to get her energy back. Her usual pickups (coffee and chocolate) are useless these days. As a matter of fact, chocolate doesn’t entice her, nor does eating. All she wants to do is sleep. Nothing interested her. She feels trapped, stuck and hopeless.

Jody is lethargic. She can’t sleep and isolates herself in her apartment. She turns to food for solace, and though it provides only temporary comfort, her only interest is eating. She considers using drugs but doesn’t have the street smarts to obtain any. Jody is unemployed and days away from being evicted from her home. Her mom just passed away and she periodically gets slammed with waves of grief. The fact that none of her clothes fit her anymore depresses her further. Jody’s friends are worried that she doesn’t appear to care about losing her apartment. They’re also worried about her macabre Facebook status updates. Jody’s best friend told her it was a sin to be depressed. Now all she thinks about is what a relief it would be to end it all.

Do you see pieces of yourself in Barb or Jody? Do they remind you of someone you know? Do you think you may be suffering from depression? Click here to take the diagnostic quiz.

Next: Treating Depression

Click here to take the diagnostic quiz.

Click here to read about the symptoms of depression.

Suicide Hotline

Fourth Annual Breast Friends Event

2010-03-08T16:42:00.004-07:00

Breast cancer is not a stranger to me. While it hasn’t physically affected me, it’s affected those I love. Therefore, I’ve made it my mission to encourage women to make their health a priority and schedule an annual mammogram. I’m always shocked at the number of women who put it off until they realize it’s been years since their last screening.

When, I had my first mammogram at forty, I decided to reward myself with a Godiva raspberry truffle and a little shopping. The next year I added coffee and invited friends. In 2006, we celebrated my mother in laws victory over breast cancer. Then, when a dear friend had a scare, we decided to celebrate her clean-bill-of-health with Godiva and Starbucks. We had several mini celebrations with friends and thought how fun it would be if we all did it together, so we decided to form a Breast Friends club.

What is Breast Friends? It’s a group of women celebrating friendship, femininity and good health by encouraging one another to get mammograms and perform breast self-examinations.

Pick a day that works for your group.

Invite your friends to schedule a screening on the same day around the same time.

Meet for breakfast or lunch beforehand

After the mammograms celebrate with coffee

Follow up with monthly emails to remind each other to do self-examinations.

Start today - form a Breast Friends group with friends from your city.

Celebration is the key. Take chocolate along with you to pass out in the waiting room. Just have fun. The point of BF is to take the fear out of getting a mammogram and to celebrate friendship, health and femininity. This year, we'll be screening on March 29th. Join us won’t you?

The Two Most Powerful Words in the English Language

2010-03-07T00:38:00.001-07:00

Two of the most powerful words in the English language are, “I’m sorry.” Just a simple apology. It may seem simple, but it’s becomes oh so complicated when the words are never uttered.

What not to say in apology:

"I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings." While this may be true, it is not a real apology. If it follows an “I’m sorry” then it’s acceptable.

''You misunderstood me." This is placing blame on the other person. They may have misunderstood, but you are no closer to reconciliation with this announcement.

"I’m sorry you were hurt by what I said." Drop the qualifier. Just say you are sorry!

A gift is not an apology

A gift may express you are willing to make amends, but it pales in comparison to a heartfelt apology. Just say it! An apology gift sets a pattern - all subsequent gifts will become suspect.

What if it wasn’t my fault?

You don’t have to be at fault to apologize. You might try something like this, “I’m sorry. I hate that we’re fighting. Let’s put this behind us.” Once you make the first move, the other party will likely reciprocate. Hours into weeks of frustrations are over.

When an apology is not enough

Some offenses are so grievous, as in abuse or betrayal, that a mere apology is not enough. However, it is a good first step. Many victims never hear those words from their abuser. It may also be appropriate to pay retribution or cover counseling.

Say it with sincerity

Don’t say it with sarcasm or flippantly. Look the other person in the eye and speak with sincerity.

Do you have an unspoken apology you need to deliver? Do it now. It’s never too late.

The Letter That Changed Me - by Tiffany Stuart

2010-03-02T02:03:00.000-07:00

I sat in front of my computer about to do something I never imagined doing: write a letter to my molester.

A few days prior, my husband casually mentioned his upcoming business trip. I felt sick and angry inside when I heard where. Attached to this city name were memories from thirty-three years ago I’d rather forget.

I never told my parents what happened to me in second grade. Shame kept me quiet until I was in high school. I have no idea why, but one day I casually told a relative what happened. Maybe I needed to be heard and understood. I felt self-conscious sharing what I remembered, like I was making things up.

Not a single tear was cried over my abuse—not during, not after, not ever. When I told a few trusted friends about my past, I emotionally separated myself and told it as a “long, long time ago this happened to me” story. My lack of tears convinced me I was OK. But deep down, I knew better. Hearing a city name awoke something inside of me I buried alive decades earlier. Pain.

I knew I needed to get to the root of my pain. After a conversation with my family, I googled this guy’s full name. I cried what I now call my “death cry” with what I uncovered.

My memories were true.

I wasn’t crazy.

My worst fears realized: This multimillionaire—a repeated sex offender—spent his entire life molesting children! Nothing stopped him. His wealth spared him. And the worst part was I wasn’t his only victim. His track record ripped through state lines like a tornado and left devastation in the hearts of many young boys and girls.

Sorrow and outrage shook me to my core. I wanted to stand up for every child he had ever hurt. I also wanted to die. Now what? Clueless, I sobbed one minute and then walked around numb the next.

For some reason I needed to know if this monster was still alive, so I paid $13.95 to search site to find out. He was! Now in his early 80’s with health issues, he violated probation only a few years prior. Still a sick, sick man!

I had to make a decision. I couldn’t ignore my past any longer. I could either go after this creep once and for all—or let him go. Torn with emotions, I prayed, journaled, and talked with family and friends.

A few days later, I sat alone with my laptop and stared at a blank word document. Time to give this guy a piece of my mind. I prayed, took deep breaths, teared up, and started typing. At first I struggled to find words. What words are strong enough to describe what he did? None. After a page of sharing with him my experience and pain, I decided it was time to say I’m done. As I continued, I asked him hard questions. I even probed into what he might be thinking now as an old man about to meet his Maker. I told him what saved me from destroying myself: my faith in Jesus.

Something amazing happened as I kept writing.

I wrote words I never dreamed of writing. Words about forgiveness and love and the hope of heaven. The strangest feeling came over me as wrote out a salvation prayer and invited him to know my Healer. My heart soared with peace and joy. I felt more alive and full of God’s love than ever before. The weight of unforgiveness after all those years finally lifted.

The next day I sent the letter unsigned with no return address. It was finished. I was free! Who knew I could actually pen words of love and forgiveness to one of the most evil of men?

God did. He gets all the credit.

That day I witnessed a real miracle—a miracle in my heart. The healing power of forgiveness. God in action.

This experience taught me a couple truths I hope I never forget.

1. Never hold onto unforgiveness. It’s not worth it. Unforgiveness is a heavy yoke.

2. Forgiveness is hard to do—and sometimes takes decades (in my case)—but it brings freedom. Freedom to heal. Freedom to love.

No matter how bad the offense feels, I’m learning the best path is straight towards forgiveness. Lewis B. Smedes’s quote says it best: "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

For over thirty years, I was held captive by unforgiveness. Today I feel the difference. I’m lighter—not physically—but mentally and emotionally and spiritually.

Since this letter, I’ve thought over and over again about Jesus’ words as He hung dying on the cross. He said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). How could Jesus just let these offenders of the hook after all they did to Him? His words make no sense. Did Jesus know something they didn’t? Did His heart soar with peace and joy as He spoke forgiveness? Even as Christ was dying, did He feel completely alive and full of love by releasing His offenders? I bet He did.

God is love! His ways are not our ways.

I also think about how Christ treated the criminal hanging next to Him. Jesus did not say, “It’s too late, buddy. Die without hope." Instead He said, “See you in paradise.” Not a cold shoulder, but a warm embrace.

Jesus showed us a different way of living. He lived out forgiveness in action. It’s taken me decades to really grasp the benefit of true forgiveness.

I’m thankful for the freedom I now feel with my childhood sexual abuse. I no longer hold unforgiveness in the dark corners of my heart. I no longer cringe inside when I heard that city name. Sure, that city will always have an ugly memory attached to it, but now it has been topped with God’s healing love. I choose to focus on that.

It's true with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). The letter I wrote is proof of that to me.

Copyright © 2008 Tiffany Stuart. All rights reserved.

Tiffany Stuart is a freelance writer, speaker, and stay-at-home mom of a tween daughter and a teenage son. Her passion to see women free from shame and embrace God's love. She and her family live in Colorado. She enjoys blogging at Tea With Tiffany.

Are You Ready For Some Time Out?

2010-02-27T23:04:00.001-07:00

I love the video below because it drives home the need we all have to take some time for ourselves. This poor mom has no other place but her vehicle. However, I imagine you can find a more creative place to refresh. When was the last time you took a block of time for yourself? Once you're reinvigorated, you'll have more energy to devote to others. Now, grab your calendar and schedule your time out!

Are You Having an Online Affair?

2010-02-23T18:03:00.003-07:00

Andrea Bocelli & The Mormon Tabernacle Choir - The Lords Prayer

2010-02-20T00:53:00.000-07:00

This is the most beautiful rendition I've ever heard. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and enjoy!

Where I'm From

2010-02-13T15:13:00.004-07:00

I’m from a house built on faith. Women of strength, men of valor, Swedish Lords, gypsy migrant workers and Viking kings.

I’m from swimming in the Platte on hot summer days, minnows nibbling on my toes, “preaching” in grandpa’s country church, riding bareback on prize horses, catching frogs and fireflies, and dreaming in the branches of the tall oak tree.

I’m from church on Sunday, last ones to leave. Restaurant fellowship until late afternoon.

I’m from fearless yet terrified, jumping out of swings, jumping out of trees and jumping off roofs. Shy but boisterous, scared of the dark, covers up to my neck, defender of the weak.

From black and white televisions with rabbit ears, Laurence Welk, Star Trek and The Brady Bunch.

I’m from prissy hand-me-downs in terrible colors. Four-eyes, tall and lanky. Sitting on the back hill, planning life playing Simon & Garfunkel on my portable cassette.

I’m from blizzard country, no school days, hot chocolate, fresh cookies, Kraft macaroni and cheese, and wading in snow up to my knees.

I’m from the Mile High State, 360 days of sunshine, the Spirit of the West, hard workers, can do attitudes and Love Will Keep Us Together.

by Jan Parrish © 2010

I'm participating in a autobiography poetry contest by Chrysalis. Click Here for details. Contest ends tonight at midnight.

Pictured, Janet Hasselblad, Eighth Grade, 1977

Like Eagles - Don Moen

2010-02-11T00:31:00.000-07:00

Jesus is Here!

2010-02-07T00:17:00.015-07:00

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast. Psalms 139: 7-10 (NIV)

Jesus is here. Right here In the Emergency Room, wrapping us in his love, because that’s what he does. He is enlisting His angels to keep charge over us. He’s dispelling loneliness and fear because that’s who He is.

As the nurses care for my husband, He is here. As my husband rests peacefully, He is here. Just as I fear I can no longer go on, He is here, holding me fast. He fills us with peace and joy despite our trials.

There are many other places I would rather be physically; but here, in His presence is where I always want to be. Wonderment unfolds as I comprehend the miracle of his continued presence. No matter where I go, I am in His presence. Even in this dark, lonely hospital room.

Jesus, we thank you for your continual presence in our lives. Thank you that you never leave us alone in our despair. We receive your peace and joy no matter how dismal our circumstances. Thank you for your steadfast love. In Your precious name, AMEN.

Girlfriends

2010-02-03T16:39:00.000-07:00

I thank God for my girlfriends. What makes a good girlfriend? Someone you can call at 2am when you need help.

Prophecy for 2010

2010-01-29T00:52:00.004-07:00

You might also like to read The Prayer of Jabez.

There Can Never Be a More Beautiful You

2010-01-09T14:49:00.000-07:00

I love this song. So very true.

A Prayer For Those in Need of Work

2010-01-04T00:16:00.003-07:00

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11

Father God, as we gather about our computers and PDA’s, we pray this of one accord; we ask for your mercy and provision for those looking for work. We pray that you would grant favor to: Nick, JB, Heather, Greg, JoAnn, Chuck, Frank, Tracy, Malissa, Paul, Betsy, Christine, Michall, Ryan, Janet, Jenna, Mary, Nicole, Mercedes, Arianna, Joanne, Jerry, Jon, Vicki, Joe, Larry, John, Jo, Evelyn &_____________. We pray that they would find not just find a job, but a wonderful, fulfilling job with great pay and benefits.

What Makes a Mother

2009-12-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to all those who have suffered the loss of a baby.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. - Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

Merry Christmas from Bold & Free Ministries!

2009-12-19T00:21:00.002-07:00

Wishing you a warm and heartfelt Christmas Greeting. My heart is filled with gratitude for your prayers and support this past year. Many of you have asked how you can help Bold & Free Ministries. Right now we have two pressing needs:

Prayer – we need prayer warriors willing to do battle for our ministry. Please let me know if you’d like to become a Bold & Free Prayer Partner and receive our regular updates.

Scholarships – we currently have two women in need of scholarships. Each $300 scholarship includes 6 intense therapy sessions. (Most women need a minimum of six sessions.) Partial scholarships and/or monthly support are greatly appreciated. Our mailing address is: P.O. Box 2653, Parker, CO 80134. If you'd like to contribute via Paypal please use this email address: jan_parrish(at)comcast(dot)net. For tax credit, please make your check out to Living Water Christian Church and place Bold & Free Ministries on the notation line.

Thank you so much for your prayers, support and encouragement. I’m excited to see how God moves in 2010.

May God bless you abundantly during this joyous season!

Jan Parrish

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Steve Harvey Introduces Christ

2009-12-09T22:30:00.001-07:00

The Other Face of Domestic Abuse

2009-12-03T00:13:00.005-07:00

Domestic abuse has more than one face and it’s not exclusively restricted to physical abuse. An abusive partner may engage in other types of less obvious abuse. These types of abuse a particularly harmful, causing deep and lasting emotional scars.

Emotional and Verbal Abuse: he will berate her in front of her children and others, often disguised as a joke, “I didn’t marry her for her brains.”

She’s so used to being put down that she comes to accept and believe his insults. He treats her like a child, controlling everything from how she wears her hair to the food he allows her to eat. All the while, she must remain compliant and cater to his needs.

Isolation: her abuser ensures she is cut off from close friendships. An acquaintance is less likely to get involved than a sister or best friend. He may even get a job transfer, away from her family so her support system is out of reach.

Often, she is not allowed to work outside the home. This keeps her financially dependant on him and less of a flight risk. “That’s why you’re so lucky to have me, “He tells her. “You couldn’t get a decent job to save your life!”

Threats and Intimidation: he uses threats and intimidation to make her believe she would be risking her life to leave. When she becomes skittish and easily frightened, he feels powerful.

He stops at nothing to keep her compliant. “If you leave me, you’ll never see your kids again. Any judge can see that you’re too emotionally unstable to raise these kids.”

Sexual Abuse: It is never appropriate for a husband to force sexual intercourse. Sexual abuse is degrading or violent sexual behavior. A spouse does not have right to force or coerce acts that are uncomfortable or immoral. This type of abuse is rarely reported because the victims feel so ashamed.

Sadly, domestic abuse does not magically disappear and it has a scary way of escalating. If you are a victim of domestic violence, don’t delay. Get help now before it’s too late. Call the Domestic Abuse Hotline or contact a trusted counselor for help. The first step is the hardest.

*Please note that for the purposes of this article, I used a male as the abuser. It is important to note that 25% of domestic violence is perpetrated by women.

When She Won’t Get Help - Domestic Violence

2009-11-15T15:14:00.002-07:00

Every day, in America, three women and one man are killed from domestic violence. The statistics are staggering. If that’s not bad enough, the economic downturn has amplified the situation. Domestic violence is up nearly 33%.

Chances are you have a friend whose name comes to your mind when you hear these statistics. Your heart breaks for her. When you questioned her, she denied it. However, she must first acknowledge the abuse before she can get help. How can face the fact that the man she loves is hurting her? What would everyone say? Her shame forces her to keep up the façade and pray things will improve. As her friend, you’re angry and concerned. You’re angry at her abuser, angry that she won’t stand up to him and angry that you are powerless to do anything for her.

What Can You Do?

Continue to be her friend. You might be her only one. Most of her friends have bailed by this point. In fact, her abuser has done his best to isolate her from the people he feels might interfere. But don’t fall into codependency and accept her false excuses. Carefully question her so she knows you aren’t buying it.

Click here to continue reading>>>>

Transformation

2009-11-04T00:02:00.000-07:00

I squirm uncomfortably

Trading old, scarred wineskin for new

Excited yet tentative

How I love and loathe this process

Tapped in deeper

Sweet ambrosia begins to pour out

Changing heart and mind

Proclaiming God’s unending grace

And how he carried me through

"From one survivor to another."

Please visit our new website: Bold & Free Ministries

Calming H1N1 Fears

2009-10-19T23:48:00.001-06:00

Watch any newscast and you'll hear about the H1N1 virus. You may even know someone who is suffering with the virus right now. With all the hype it’s easy to succumb to fear. Should you get the H1N1 vaccination? Click on this link or the link below for more information. Will you let fear keep you away from public places during flu season?

The H1N1 is a pandemic. Should you be afraid? No. Should you be cautious? Yes. Take a look at the Flu prevention guidelines below. Then give your fears over to God and live in freedom.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

- 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Flu Prevention

• Wash your hands frequently
• Keep a distance from those with symptoms
• Eat a balanced diet
• Get plenty of Rest and exercise
• Take a good multivitamin
• Take immunity boosters: probiotics, Echinacea, Elderberry and vitamin C

Supplements to Fight the Flu

• Oscillococcinum – homeopathic remedy developed in France over 65 years ago. Taken at initial onset it will lessen flu’s severity.
• Vitamin D – if your system is deplete, it will lower your immunity.
• Umcka – (pelargonium sidoides) derived from the South African geranium plant. Taken at initial onset it will lessen flu’s severity.
• Astragalus – developed in China, it’s been in use for centuries. Also known to have mild anti-viral properties.

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.
-Psalm 56:3 (NKJV)

Warning about Guardisil and Swine Flu Vaccinations
I've Been Shot

An Old Pair of Jeans and a Blog Post

2009-10-11T14:56:00.001-06:00

Today I stumbled across an old pair of jeans. “These are about shot. Why am I hanging on to them?” I said aloud. I was that surprised.

It’s hard for me to find jeans long enough so when I do, I hang on to them until they disintegrate. I thought they were past the point of no return until I tried them on. Ahhhh. Now I know why I hung onto them. They slipped on like a second skin. The thighs are worn and there is a spot where a hole is forming, but now that they’re on, I realize how much I love a comfortable pair of faded jeans. I didn’t even know I was missing them.

Well, that’s how my week has been. I’ve gotten a lot done as I work towards my goal of cutting back and simplifying my schedule. I’m choosing key activities instead of doing everything. This week Joyce Meyer is in town with Delirious. They won out over Sheila Walsh who is in town the following weekend. Both are good, but both for me, would overload my schedule.

I’ve been so busy organizing, and creating my website, that I haven’t had time to write. So here I am, in my old comfy jeans and laptop, thinking about how alike they are. I’ve spent so much time with the new, that I almost forgot the comfortable old. To ensure the perfect balance, I need to keep submitting my schedule to Jesus and asking for guidance. He understands the things I need to replenish, even if they’re as simple as an old pair of jeans and a blog post.

Michael W. Smith - Agnus Dei

2009-10-03T22:55:00.000-06:00

Just Stop It!

2009-09-27T01:00:00.000-06:00

It’s Friday night and I’m still reeling from a whirlwind week. In rushing from one event to the next, I’ve had little time to relax or catch my breath. This week it’s become glaringly apparent that I need to scale back. Some appointments are unavoidable, like going to the doctor’s. Others are non-negotiable, like church. But there are a great deal of activities that I need to set aside. In fact, there are some things I just need to stop.

The entire month of September has been a constant blur. There is only one day on my calendar that was not full. I imagine I just didn't have time to write down my schedule that day. But I can't keep up this pace. I need times of quiet reflection, to recreate and renew my spirit. I can’t let a ½ hour of rushed devotional time count as my relaxation for the day. It isn’t selfish for me to take time to renew and refresh my spirit. When I come back from my time off, I am a better mom, wife, gramma and caregiver – I’m renewed.

We talked about this at ladies prayer group on Wednesday night. We women have become quite adapt at “doing it all.” The enemy will lie to us and tells us we can “have it all.” But reality says we can’t. Even when we think we’re juggling it all well, we end up neglecting someone very important - ourselves.

It’s time for some tough, soul searching questions. Are there things you just need to stop? Take a piece of paper and fold it in half. On the left side of the paper write down all the things you love, things that relax, energize and empower you. Now on the right side write down all your activities and responsibilities. Does the list seem a little lop-sided? Take the next week and pray about what you are doing. Prioritize your list and ask God if there are activities or responsibilities you need to stop doing. You may choose to talk it over with a spouse or close friend. Once you’ve eliminated some items from the right hand side of the list, you’ll have more time for activities on the left. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you just stop it!

The Gift of a Bible

2009-09-20T11:47:00.001-06:00

I Choose Life!

2009-09-17T18:47:00.002-06:00

Evil Flourishes When Good Men Do Nothing.
– Sir Edmond Burke.

Every year 500 babies are born alive as a result of abortion. 500! That number is astounding until you hear that there are 4,400 abortions performed each day in the good old USA. Friends, this is America’s Holocaust. How can we stand on the sidelines while millions of babies are exterminated? Since Roe V. Wade passed in 1973, fifty million babies have been slaughtered here in the US.

Internet Addiction - It's No Laughing Matter!

2009-09-08T14:36:00.002-06:00

If you spend more than 2 hours a day (non-work related) interacting on the internet, you may have an internet addiction. Rehabs are opening up to help. Watch the video below:

What is a Friend?

2009-09-03T22:13:00.001-06:00

To all my dear friends near and far. Sending big cyber hugs to all of you to remind you that you are loved by both Jesus and me.

7 Ways to Deal With Grief

2009-09-01T00:59:00.004-06:00

1. Create an online memorial site where others can share in your grief.

2. Compile a memory book: using photos, ticket stubs, cards and notes.

3. Set up a scholarship fund honoring their name.

Read More >>>

The Joy of the Lord by Kim Woodhouse

2009-08-31T01:00:00.001-06:00

Thank you, Jan, for hosting me on your blog today. My prayer is that each person who reads our story, Welcome Home: Our Family’s Journey to Extreme Joy, will see the Joy of the Lord – even in the midst of the most trying of circumstances. Come along with me as we laugh, cry, and rejoice.

When I wrote this blog post, my sweet husband, Jeremy, was busy cooking dinner for me for Mother's Day. He's a gem.

Some of you may know about my “adventures,” and the trials we’ve endured as a family. But my goal in life is to laugh my way through - to find the joy - the joy of the Lord, in it all. Life is hard, but God's joy cannot be taken away. I remind myself of that a lot.

I'm always reminded on the special occasion of Mother’s Day of the miscarriages I had. The reminders come often enough throughout the year, but Mother’s Day always brings back the rush of feelings and emotions. I have several people really close to me who have gone through the same devastating circumstances this past year. There are no words for it, nothing to “do” about the grief, but cling to the Lord.

It's hard. Really hard.

But each time, each remembrance, each friend who goes through a similar loss - I'm reminded of the joy of the Lord. Just like it states in I Peter 1- my home is not of this world, I'm an alien residing here. I'm looking forward to the day when I get to see my Savior face to face. When I will get to see my loved ones that I've lost. When I will finally be mature and complete, not lacking anything -like it says in the book of James.

So, life is not going to be easy, it's not going to be a bowl of cherries. It's going to be hard, really hard. Full of trials, full of heartache, full of tough times.

But God is there. Always. His joy is there - waiting for me to grab onto it.

I have a wonderful family who put up with me and love me in spite of my craziness. I praise the Lord for what He has done in my life, and for the stretching and growing that He has brought me through. I praise Him for the good times, and for the bad. And I thank Him for His joy which is unchanging, and unending, and available constantly.

Kimberley Woodhouse is a wife, mother, author, and musician with a quick wit and positive outlook despite difficult circumstances. A popular speaker, she’s shared at more than 600 venues across the country. Kimberley and her family's story have garnered national media attention for many years, but most recently her family was chosen for ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The Montel Williams Show, and Discovery Health channel’s Mystery ER. Welcome Home: Our Family’s Journey to Extreme Joy, releases from Tyndale House Publishers September first. In addition to her non-fiction, she also writes romantic suspense and children’s books. Kimberley lives, writes, and homeschools in Colorado with her husband and two children in their truly “extreme” home. www.kimberleywoodhouse.com

7 Ways to Help a Friend in Grief

2009-08-29T23:53:00.002-06:00

1. Acknowledge their pain. Just say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Many people don’t know what to say so they remain silent. All they need is for you to validate their loss.

2. Send a card, fruit or flowers. Seems obvious – but often overlooked.

Continue Reading>>>>

2009-08-29T21:33:00.000-06:00

2009-08-25T15:03:00.000-06:00

Personhood Amendment Petition Drive

2009-08-24T13:05:00.004-06:00

Denver, Co August 24/ Tomorrow's press conference will launch the 2010 Personhood Amendment petition drive with a request to re-activate a thousand volunteer petitioners from 2008.

The Colorado Secretary Of State title board has given the unanimous go ahead for the new Personhood effort to begin gathering the 76,047 signatures required to place the amendment on the November 2010 ballot.

The press conference, at a post office, will announce that the campaign will strive to become the first initiative campaign in Colorado to be run completely by volunteers. The campaign will build upon last year's effort, reactivating by mail the 1,000 circulators that gathered the 131,000 signatures in 2008.

The petition drive will launch by addressing head on the hard cases of rape and incest with comments from our campaign spokesperson, Sherri Williams, herself a victim of rape.

What: Press Conference to activate over 1,000 volunteers

When: Tuesday August 25 10:30-11:00

Where: US Post Office 225 S Broadway Denver Colorado

"We are pleased that once again the Colorado Secretary Of State has seen through objections of Planned Parenthood and has allowed the personhood campaign to move forward" Said initiative co-sponsor Gualberto Garcia Jones J.D.

"As we continue to press forward, we are seeing incremental advances for the personhood rights of the preborn." Said Leslie Hanks, initiative co-sponsor.

For Questions Please Call
Personhood Colorado 303-456-2800
Colorado Right To Life 303-753-9394

Personhood Colorado

Personhood USA PO Box 486 Arvada Co 80001

Warfare Prayer

2009-08-11T23:17:00.004-06:00

Father God, I love and worship You with every breath that I take. I pray that everything I do and say will be for Your glory. I thank You that I need not fear what man may say because You will fight for me. I thank You that You will condemn every lying tongue which rises against me.
Read More>>>

Stop Human Sex Trafficking

2009-08-08T11:07:00.000-06:00

Click HERE to read more on what can you do to stop human sex trafficking?

Sarah Palin's Favorability Numbers

2009-08-03T10:37:00.000-06:00

Sarah Palin left her last official state tweet on July 26th:

“Last state twitter. Thank you Alaska! I love you. God bless Alaska. God bless the U.S.A.”

Critics have done all they can to obliterate her, yet she is not going away. Her favorability numbers continue to reflect a strong conservative support base. Don’t they realize that they more they persecute Sarah Palin with their lies and innuendo’s, the more the conservatives rise up? Perhaps they’re doing us a favor with their ridiculous attacks.

This stopped being about politics a long time ago; this is spiritual warfare. Sarah Palin has taken a strong stand against abortion and her opposition is unnerved. In fact, she would do an outstanding job as the head of the pro-life movement. For now, we’ll hold her in our prayers and wait to see where God leads her next.

Second Blogoversary Contest Winners

2009-07-30T20:08:00.008-06:00

Grand prize, a complete set of the Fairlawn Series by Angela Hunt,
is awarded to Jared King. Congratulations Jared.

Second prize, Snow Melts in Spring is awarded to Lisa Shaw.
Congratulations Lisa!

Third prize, Learning to Fly by Roxanne Henke goes to Megan DiMaria!
Congratulations Megan!
Please email me your addresses and I will get these right out to you!

7 Ways to Celebrate Summer

2009-07-25T20:08:00.003-06:00

1. Sit on the front porch with someone special. Pause in the twilight to celebrate life and love.

2. Lie on a blanket and watch the clouds float by. Dare to dream.

Read more>>>

Photography by Tonya Vander

Second Blogoversary & Drawing

2009-07-20T23:26:00.000-06:00

Kindred to the Woman at the Well by Tonya Vander

2009-07-13T01:16:00.000-06:00

Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”
John 4:13-14

A couple of weeks ago I heard a friend speak about how her walk with God dramatically changed from feeling like a guest to a daughter of the King. This was a woman who had walked with God for almost twenty years when this happened. Experiencing the God who chooses you, transforms your walk. As I listened to her compelling testimony, the Lord started to reveal how my heart was guarded just like the Samaritan woman at the well. Like her, I didn't want to get my life or water with everyone else in the cool of the day. But instead I went by myself, when no one was around.

Yet in the heat of the day, she stumbles upon Jesus. He is tired and thirsty and asks her for a drink. She is astonished that He would ask her, a Samaritan woman for water. But Jesus isn't like other men in her life who has abused and judged her, he just wants to give her life. Like her, I was in the intensity of one trial after another feeling isolated and alone. Marked by past authorities that had spoken words of judgment and condemnation, why would anyone really want to get close to me? My soul was too tarnished. Being cloaked in shame and fear, I didn't realize how isolated I had become. I chose not to get close to others for fear that they too, would judge me with harshness and disparaging words. Yet, my Lord didn't see me this way. How could my thinking change? This revelation almost overwhelmed me.
"Now what do I do with it, Lord." I asked.

For a couple of weeks this revelation stirred in me. I became aware of so many circumstances where I felt judged or slighted, even though, I didn't think these people meant to do harm to me. My feelings were so twisted, I didn't know which way was up. This roller coaster of emotions left me dazed and confused, which only added to my guilt and condemnation. I felt like I was sinking farther and farther into a hole that I would never get out of.

Then Sunday came, and during worship the Lord started dealing with my broken heart. He brought to me peoples faces and the angry, hurtful words that they had spoken over me the pain was so intense I felt like the tears would never stop. I told the Lord that if he wanted change in me, that Pastor Gerry would need to pray over me and break the deception off of me. As worshiped ended, they had an altar call for prayer. I went forward and Pastor Gerry prayed over me. As he started to pray about my control issues which had led to my fear of authority and how I had to defend myself for years. I was so broken I couldn't even look up. God had answered my prayer in such a powerful way. The words flowed straight into my heart and started to heal the breaches of the past, even to my early childhood. I was told I could lay down my sword now, for the Lord would go before me and be my rear guard. For once in my life, I felt safe and protected, like someone was looking at for me. Even now as I share this tears well up. For the road has been a long with many disappointments along the way. As I left the altar that day, I knew I would never be the same, just like my friend who had shared a few weeks earlier, His Love will forever change you.

God had chosen me. He loved me. He would protect me. He would guide me. Though these words seem to simple, they are so profound when they reach to the innermost part of your soul. Where others had spoken death- He spoke life and life more abundantly. I chose to take the living water that He offered me on Sunday and drink deeply to satisfy the longing of my soul.

How about you? Have others wounded you so deeply that it clouded your perceptions of the Lord and other believers, if so can I pray for you? God doesn't desire for us to be afraid of being vulnerable or afraid. He desires to set us free, to live the life that we were intended to live for him.

Tonya blogs at: Mother Wit she is a freelance photographer and homeschooler. View her artwork here: In the Garden

10 Reasons Liberals Love to Hate Sarah Palin

2009-07-10T01:19:00.004-06:00

1. She has strong Conservative Christian values and is able to articulate them.

2. Her infectious personality has endeared her to millions.

3. Sarah demonstrates that a woman can be feminine and powerful simultaneously.

Michael Jackson - The King of Pop bows his knee to the King of Kings

2009-07-08T23:13:00.006-06:00

Michael Jackson’s memorial service began with a rendition of We Are Going to See the King as his golden casket rolled down the aisle and was positioned in its place of honor in the front of the stadium. Michael’s brothers wore silver sequined gloves and served as pall bearers.

Michael Jackson picked out his own casket after attending James Brown’s funeral. His brass casket, with gold overlay and velvet lining, set Michael back 25K. Aside from the casket, the service itself was modestly done for a star of his calibur.